Jay's outlook on cancer in his own words

Jay wrote this after being told that he was cured of the cancer after his first bone marrow transplant.  Several weeks later the cancer had infiltrated his lungs and landed him in the ICU for nearly a week.  It is a blessing to his thoughts so clearly spelled out.

Thank You from Jay Hollums

            First, and foremost, I want to say thank you to all of the people that are reading this!   I know if you are reading this you have at least at some point worried or been concerned about me.  And I want you all to understand the glorious impact that your prayers have had on me and those around me.

            When you first find out that you have cancer, it is very hard to believe.  You just say to yourself that it is not possible. And you just wait patiently for the doctors to come back with a different reason that you are not feeling perfect.  However, once it sinks in you just sit there and try to understand.  I think I handled the diagnosis very well, but I had no idea what I was in for when it came to the cure.  Chemotherapy is amazingly tough.  For me I think it was tougher than the cancer.  I just kept telling myself that my God has a purpose for everything, even if I don’t understand it.  I proceeded to ask for prayers and blessings from all the people I know and the church that I love.  I know that many people prayed for my health, and I will take all the prayers that people are willing to make on my behalf, but I will tell you this; I have never seen prayer work as effectively as it did this time.  Not necessarily as a cure for my cancer (it is in remission and undetectable right now), but as an impact on my friends and family and myself.  I have never felt so much love all the time coming from every where.  Your prayers comforted me, my wife, and my family.  They allowed me to feel wrapped in love and that is an AMAZING feeling.  I have always said that the greatest miracle that God can do is not to move a mountain, but to change a heart.  I have no doubt that through your prayers for me and my illness; MANY hearts were changed forever.  If you ever wonder why people are allowed to ever get sick, then just realize the changed hearts of the people that form due to experiencing an illness or even a death are a great miracle.  Sometimes, the only way to change a heart is through observation of another’s illness or death.  I truly hope that your spiritual life has grown in some way as you followed my struggles. 

I continue to pray for all of you in return, even if I don’t know all the names of the people that prayed for me.  May God bless you all for your concern, prayers, and, more to the point, your deep abiding love.  Keep praying as we all need miracles. Thank you once again, your prayers and Christ’s love hold me together day by day as this ordeal finishes up with the final testing and follow up treatments.  I believe it is by the grace of God and your wonderful prayers that I am where I am today.

Your brother in Christ,

Jay Hollums

Cancer Survivor, fullremission 2 months.

Jay's spiritual journey in his own words

Jay wrote this as part of an assignment for a layspeaking class he was taking for church.  

My Journey

                I have to admit, I did not expect to have to give an essay as to my spiritual journey, but it has given me one thing I did not expect as well… an introspective view that surprised even me. Looking back, I thought that I would start this discussion when I was a child and work my way forward, but to be honest my childhood was rather sheltered.  Instead I think I should start with when I first moved out of my parent’s house and into the world.

                When I was 18 the world was a wonderful place filled with Christians and no one that questioned my faith, only people that supported me and gave strength to my beliefs. But within days, my beliefs were not only questioned, they were scoffed at, and most dangerously for me, they were tested with temptations. I found a slowly increasing pressure that asked me to give up my basic moral fiber. And sadly there were times I didn’t meet the goals of my Lord. But as I lived in that environment I discovered a few things. Firstly, I found that the love I was seeking did not come from a person, but from my Lord.  I sought that love from a woman, and continued to be disappointed.  Secondly, I discovered that true friends didn’t look like me, act like I wanted them too, or even believe the way that I believed.  And Thirdly, I discovered that those friends needed a person that didn’t just spout high views, but really understood what he thought and could phrase those thoughts into well conceived discussions. At this time I found this last thing hard to do, being that most of my education in the church had come from summer bible camp and the loose understanding as is given to most of our youth in the UMC as we grow up listening to sermons every Sunday.

                After finding my to be wife on the internet, I moved to Pennsylvania, and decided I needed to learn more about how to help others come to the Lord.  So I began to read.  First I started with several small books that helped guide my thoughts.  Then I re-read the bible, starting to spend about a day each chapter until I had finished it all.  I then started looking for more ways to answer the questions my friends and fiancée had asked me. I discovered that the greatest way I could answer questions was to live what I wanted to tell others. My now wife tells me it was my actions and not anyone’s words that convinced her that Jesus Christ was Lord. As I kept reading I felt a pulling to tell others what I was learning, not just live the life.

                My then current pastor Roger Applebee, was a wonderful listener and when he heard that I had been involved in debate and many other speaking activities both in High School and in College he asked me if I would ever like to speak at our church.  I answered that I would be glad to, but I would really like it if he would give me at least 2 weeks notice.  We both laughed and that was about all I thought of the matter for several weeks.  Until I went to work one day and was reading my bible as I listened to an internet radio station.  All of a sudden the words on the page were being heard by me.  John 1.  I was rather amazed by this little coincidence, but really didn’t give it much more thought. About 2 days later I was listening to the same radio station again as I was using a internet resource that allowed me to read random verses of the bible, when, as I’m sure you guessed, I found my self reading John 1 as I heard the song again.  Now this was more than a little coincidence. I began to do some serious research on this chapter of the bible.  I also felt a need to share this knowledge with my church.  I asked Roger if I could speak at some point and he explained that my request was perfectly timed as he was looking for some one to speak on Laity Sunday.  As I researched the message, I went out on the internet to www.bible.com. The home page for this site has a ‘passage for the day’.  That day’s… John 1:3-4.  Lastly, as I was driving home, before I was to give the message, I saw a car with the license plate ‘Logos’.  Which after researching John 1:1 really yelled at me. (‘Logos’ is the Greek word for ‘word or sound or emanation’ – It is used repeatedly in John 1.

                Now after all these little encouragements from the Lord I decided to take the beginning Lay speaking course.  After which I was immediately asked by Dr. St. Clair to attend the Annual Conference as a Laity Equalization member.  Encouraged by this rapid turn of events I of course agreed to help in any way possible.  Now I’m not one to ever expect the Lord even do what he had done for me in preparation for that first message, however, what came next was the most amazing experience I have ever had happen to me.  Of course by now I had some serious questions about what the Lord has in store for me, so I thought that Annual Conference would be a great few days I could pray and do a little listening to perhaps what God had planned for me.  So I happily packed up my bags and went to Grove City.  I arrived and was assigned a dorm and told to go to an introductory meeting about how things at Annual Conference would proceed.  I followed along with the crowd and found my classroom with the others.  I was a little disappointed at the meeting, it was more of an introduction to the Bishop’s sermon than a discussion on how voting would occur or what the main issues would be, but as I listened I noticed that the older lady beside me was answering all the questions the speaker posed on gardening and such.  She was very nice and I was pleased to be seated next to such an evidently ardent gardener.  But as the meeting came to an end, we all prayed for guidance as we held hands.  The lady’s hands were amazingly warm for an older lady and I remember thinking that was odd.  But as we all started to let go of each others hands she didn’t let go of mine.  Everyone started filing out of the room but she just looked up at me.  I asked her if she needed help, and she said, “No. But I’m supposed to give you a message.” Looking a little bewildered, I tried hard to think if I knew her and for the life of me, I couldn’t ever recall seeing her before.  “Okay…” I said.  “I am supposed to tell you that you are to go into the ministry.”  As she said these words I felt like I had been punched in the chest.  I couldn’t breath and I started tearing up.  I mumbled something about thank you and I half stumbled and half walked out of the room.  Now as I cleared the doorway I started thinking a little clearer.  Hmmm…  Was there any more to the message?  What form of ministry?  To whom?  I waited outside the doorway for her to come out so I could ask these questions as the rest of the room filtered out.  But she never came out.  I might have missed her, but I know I left before her.  I looked back in the room and it was now empty.  I don’t know where she went, but I looked for her for the rest of the Conference to no avail.  Also, her picture was not in the Annual book.  I told my brother who is an ordained minister in the United Methodist Church about this and his response was, “I think you should read about Angels.”

                So I kept on speaking at my charges churches, 2 times that year.  And I took the Certified Lay Speaker course the next year. Speaking once and being a Vacation Bible School teacher in the summer.  I’m a member of our charges PPRC and I try to participate in as many things as I can that the church offers.  But after my first message, and the message from that wonderful old lady, I think I need to offer my talents to more than just my local charge. I think I have a true ability to speak to others and I continually pray that what I say is what my Lord wants me to say.  So I am seeking admittance to the course and the responsibility that comes with being a Commissioned Lay speaker.  I am hoping that God will use this opportunity to help guide me further as to what he wants from me.  Am I to continue on this path and become a Local Pastor?  Or stay as Laity and help in the business aspects or perhaps do something else?  I am requesting this opportunity to help me find my path. Thank you for your time in reading this, my journey and my explanation of Gods call to me.

Yours truly,

Jay Hollums (John R. Hollums II)